Starlight Remix
by The Cowardly Christian
Summary: Cutie Re-Mark AU! Use time-travel to get revenge? Sounds easy right? Yeah, not so much. Starlight is about to learn the consequences of time travel the hard way...


**Starlight Remix**

I OWN AND REGRET NOTHING!

...III...

 **ANNOUNCEMENT!**

 **I'M GETTING A BOOK PUBLISHED!**

 **SUMMARY:**  
 **On the 13th day of the 13th month of the 13th year...magic will return to the world...and the streets will run red with the blood of the (semi)innocent...unless the world is saved by the most unlikely of hero's...baking cupcakes?!**

 **The title is '13/13/13' and it'll be coming to a bookstore or E-Book site near you! Xilbris is the publisher, also available at Amazon, Inkitt and BarnesandNoble.**

...III...

"Starlight Glimmer?" Asked Spike as he and Twilight returned to their castle.

"I was sure I saw her, Spike. But when I looked again, she was gone! I'm just worried what she could be up to." Admitted Twilight

"Nothing good, I bet. I heard she wasn't very happy the _last_ time you saw her." Commented Spike.

"Forcing everypony in her village to have the same cutie mark wasn't right. We had to do something!" Exclaimed Twilight.

"And now she's coming back for revenge... Uh, or she was just really interested in your speech!" Amended Spike hopefully

Twilight sighed, "Honestly, Spike. I'm not really sure what I saw. But as long as I have my friends, I know everything will be all right..." Twilight thought more on this, "Maybe I was just more stressed about that speech than I thought."

Spike gave a sigh of relief. "Yeah. That sounds better than Starlight Glimmer coming back with an evil plot for revenge."

Twilight nods, "Well, when you say it like that, it does sound kinda silly." She says as they both enter the throne room-

"Or it's totally true!" Shouted Spike beholding a smug Starlight sitting at the Cutie map!

Starlight smirks, "Welcome home, Twi-

 **ZAP!**

Starlight's eye's widen confused as the map and Starswirl's spell activate.

"What are you doing Starlight!?" Demanded Twilight.

"I...this isn't me! "Shouts Starlight in a panic, how this be possible? She'd made absolutely certain that no one could use the spell but her! She'd put in dozens of contingency plans that only she would know! So how-

 **ZAP!**

And just like that...a second Starlight was standing before them.

Everyone looked at her confused, "What the-

"Oh, good! I'm not too late!" She runs to Starlight Prime, "Hey, how are you? I'm you from the future!"

"What?! What are you talking about? How do I know this isn't a trick?" Asked Starlight Prime Suspiciously.

Starlight #2 sighed, "When we were five, during a slumber party with Sunburst, while he was asleep we accidentally-

"STOP! I BELIEVE YOU!" Shouted a flustered Starlight Prime, no way did she want THAT revealed in front of other ponies!

She quickly composed herself, "Okay why are you here?"

Starlight 2 sighed, "Yeah, we need to tweak our plan a bit."

Starlight Prime looked at her confused, "Why? Didn't you stop the rainboom?" She asked Ignoring the gasps of the purple princess behind her.

Starlight 2 frowned, "No, that went off without a hitch...but something went wrong! When we got back to the present everything is shrouded in darkness and ruled by the mare in the moon!"

Prime looked at 2 skeptically, "That old pony tale? It's real? How'd that happen?"

"Because you broke our friendship!"

Both Starlight's turned to Twilight, "What?" they asked flatly.

"Me and my friends defeated Nightmare moon! It was one of our first adventure's as friends!"

Both Glimmer's rolled their eye's, "Oh, please! Zero your ego! Like any friendship could be THAT important!" Said Starlight 2 with a scoff. "Yeah, how gullible do you think we are?" Asked Starlight Prime.

Before Twilight can get over her indignant sputtering Starlight 2 turns to Starlight Prime, "Anyway I've worked out a counter." Pulls out some blueprints and displays them before an interested Prime, "AFTER we stop the RAINBOOM, we go to the moon before Nightmare Moon returns and-

 **ZAP!**

Everyone's eye's looked up in disbelief as the map and spell lite up AGAIN and deposited-

"What the- Spat out Spike baffled.

Indeed, 'what the-' was on everyone's mind as what was standing before them was...well, it SORTA looked like Starlight...but it had the head of a purple daisy, blue body with green/red spots, large paws for front hooves, rooster feet for rear legs, and a 'screwball' flag for a tail!

"WHAT are you?" Asked Prime distraught.

Starlight 3 sighed, "I'm you from a FURTHER future." She takes a deep breath "When we were five, during a slumber party with Sunburst, while he was asleep we accidentally kis-

"WE BELIEVE YOU!" Shout both a flustered Prime and 2 quickly.

 _"It is NOT okay that I'm more interested in what they were about to say over everything else that's happening here."_ Thinks Twilight to herself flustered.

Spike speaks up, "Let me guess...you come from an Equestria where Discord the spirit of chaos and disharmony rules?"

3's eye's went wide in surprise, "Eh, yeah! How'd you know!"

"BECAUSE ME AND MY FRIENDS STOPPED HIM! JUST LIKE WE STOPPED NIGHTMARE MOON AND MANY OTHER THREATS TO EQUESTRIA'S SAFETY THAT YOU LOT WILL CAUSE IF YOU DON'T STOP THIS!" Shouts Twilight exasperated.

But once again the Starlight's blow her off. And again Twilight sputters in indignation

An annoyed Spike throws up his claws in disbelief, "Oh for the love of-

He steps forward, "Look, forget the friendship stuff- Twilight gasped at him in horrified disbelief -will you at LEAST concede that you preventing the rainboom has disastrous consequences? You can't say it's not a coincidence that two terrible timelines popped up AFTER you did that!"

Twilight gets ready to scold him for that 'forget Friendship' comment-

Starlight Prime sigh's, "Okay, fine, fair enough", and both of her time-clones reluctantly agree.

Twilight gaped, "Wha- THAT you listen to!?" She exclaimed annoyed.

Spike sighed, "Look Twilight, I love friendship as much as you...but sometimes you just need to give it a rest! Friendship is great but we don't need to make it the center of everything we do and experience!"

Starlight Prime rolled her eye's, "Yeah, I know, right?! Okay, we get it already! Your great friends! You don't need to squeeze that one little nuance into every aspect of everyone's life!"

Spike smirked, "Tell me about it, you'd be amazed. AMAZED how many times she can spin the 'magic of friendship' into something on a daily basis!" He laughed.

Annoyed, Twilight speaks up: "Look, were getting off track here...dose this mean you'll abandon this insane plan then?"

Starlight Prime scoffed, "Hardly, I have a plan B. It's not as elegant or as simple as the Rainboom plan...but I guess it'll do. I kidnap you and all your friends(Minus Rainbow since she's needed to allow the Rainboom to happen) as fillies before the Rainboom happens! Dash might get her cutie mark but no one else will! You'll never get together and I still win!"

Twilight groaned...and sees Spike smiling?

"Why are you so happy!?" She demanded.

Spike says nothing... just counts off on his fingers...1...2...3...

 **ZAP!**

A bite mark and slime covered Starlight 4 popped out of the vortex and plops on the floor, "When we were five, during a slumber party with Sunburst, while he was asleep we accidentally kissed his rump while we were asleep!"

Despite the situation, Spike and Twilight couldn't help but fall to the ground laughing.

Starlight Prime groaned, not just in humiliation but also overall frustration of the whole situation!

"Seriously? That didn't work either!?" She shouted annoyed.

Starlight 4 just glared, "Not only did Equestria get conquered by a shapeshifting monster, I ended up trapped in a cocoon for five years! My magic kept my mind stable, but I had to EAT myself to not starve to death!" She shouted angrily.

Starlight Prime just looked at her in horrified disbelief, "I don't believe this...has every monster of legend just come crawling out of the woodwork the past several years!?"

"Pretty much, yeah." Said Spike flatly, but then looks at Prime confused. "Seriously, how do you not know any of this? The entire country has been attacked like a crazy amount of times the past couple years! Even if you were isolated away from it all in your village, shirly after you fled you would've learned about them!?"

Before an indignant Prime could respond.

"Yeah, in hindsight when we get obsessed with something it gives us a whole lot of tunnel vision. All we wanted to know was when and where Twilight's friendship began and how to crush it. Anything else didn't even show up on our radar." Stated Starlight 4 flatly.

Everyone- including the other Starlight's -looked at her baffled. "What? I'd like to see you be locked inside a mystic cocoon for years on end, with nothing to to pass the time but your own copntemplations and eating yourself and not get introspective of your life and how it got you there." Said 4 flatly.

She then switched gears, "That being said...I'm also starting to find myself open to the possibility that Twilight was right about her friendship's being important...and also how we should just cut our loses and forget this plan." She responds sagely.

"WHAT?!" Exclaimed Starlight prime enraged.

"Come on Starlight!" Shouted Spike, "This is just like in power ponies issue 53! Where Mad Mare kept trying to kill the Power Ponies before they formed, which kept creating dystopian worlds-

"Oh don't tell me about issue 53! That was garbage! The science behind it sucked and the romance between Saddle Rager and that future florist was tacked on at best!" Exclaimed Starlight annoyed.

Spike frowned...but reluctantly nodded, "Okay, fair enough. It wasn't their best issue. But that doesn't-

"Wait, you read comics?" Asked Twilight surprised.

"Yeah, I have a life outside of you Twilight!" Scoffed Prime annoyed.

She then takes a deep breath to calm herself, "Look, I admit things haven't gone as smoothly as I hoped. Furthermore, I freely admit that I should've done more extensive research on this whole thing, but we can still salvage this!"

Everyone- including some of the Starlight's -groan at this.

"NO! Hear me out!" Shouted Prime desperately, "I'll rewrite the spell to send me back only several months, do more extensive research on Twilight and her effect on Equestria as a whole, cross-examine the data provided by my future selves, and come back here this same date to collaborate with my alternate...semi-present...self? Whatever, the point is we come up with a BETTER plan to-

 **ZAP!**

"Oh, come on!" Shouted Prime.

But to everyone's surprise, it was not a new Starlight...but rather-

"TRIXIE!?" Exclaimed Spike and Twilight.

Indeed it was Trixie...a malnourished ALICORN Trixie!?

"What, just what!?" Exclaimed Twilight who was almost frothing at the mouth in panic.

The weary Trixie panted, "Yeah...long story short: You meet up with me and together we experimented with the alicorn amulet to help us both ascend to being alicorns and defeat all the threats you defeated so we could stop the rainboom without fear...and...well-

"Let me guess; You went power mad and went too far, AGAIN?" Asked Spike rolling his eyes.

"How was Trixie supposed to know that blowing up the Crystal Empire would free the Umbrum's!?...and flood the rest of Equestria with melted ice water...and annoy the northern storm spirits so much they'd side with King Sombra...who thanks to the destruction of the Crystal empire was able to get the Crystal heart corrupted and permanently turned to evil since so many of it's citizens died screaming my name in anger?" She admitted with increased sheepish awkwardness...

"Wait, what happened to me then?!" Asked Prime.

Trixie's face scrunched uncomfortably, "Well..."

 **ZAP!**

The head of Starlight 5 fell from Trixie's dying time vortex while still on a pike.

"She didn't make it." Admitted Trixie awkwardly...

Most of the other ponies vomited...Prime vomited and babbled incoherently. "Wha- But I just- How-

"Starlight! Please stop this! I'm begging you!" Implored Twilight, "If you won't believe in friendship will you at least believe that time travel is bringing nothing but trouble!?"

Starlight sighs...then throws up her hooves in defeat, "Oh, for the love of- Fine! No more time travel! But don't think this is over Twilight! Mark my words I'll think up a new- NON-Time travel related revenge plan to-

 **ZAP!**

Everyone gasped, standing before them was a horrifically mutilated cyborg Starlight 6.

Prime just gaped, "What-

"Don't ask." Said 6 in a computerized voice, "All I'll say is that our next 'brilliant' revenge plan accomplishes nothing except destroying TWO worlds...also, if you do anymore revenge plans, I will kill you, Paradoxes be fraked!"

Seeing all her future selves nodding in agreement, Prime bangs her head in frustration.

"Fine! No more revenge! Equality bad! Friendship good! HAPPY!?" She snaps sarcastically.

Twilight, still not sure how to process the situation goes to her default response; "Uh...want learn about friendship from me?" She asks delicately.

Again, Prime rolled her eyes. "WHY NOT!?" She barked irritably, "Fine I'll start tomorrow, TODAY I need a drink!" She barks angrily as she trots off tot he local pub.

"Yeah, a drink seems pretty good now." Agreed 2 as she follows.

"I hear that." Stated 3 as she dose likewise.

"Give me food not ripped from my hide and I'll kiss your hooves!" Exclaims 4 as she runs after the lot.

"The great and powerful Princess Trixie will gladly join you after she buries her friends remains", says Trixie as she trots off with the severed head of 5.

"...I think I'll just go into sleep mode, if it's all the same to everyone." Points out 6 as she powers down...

Soon, it was just Twilight, Spike and the sleeping 6.

"...so...we won?" Asked Spike confused.

"I...guess?" Said an unsure Twilight.

"...yay?"

…III...

TO BE CONTINUED?

 **AN: I know it says "in-progress" but really I just don't like boxing myself into a corner. For now this is more of a one-shot that I might continue one day...but probably won't.**  
 **But, hey. Feel free to use whatever elements you want from this, if you want! Or maybe give me ideas?**

 **Love me, flame me, review me**


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